We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
