Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
