So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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