I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
