Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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