he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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