i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
