Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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