i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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