Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
