Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
