that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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