Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize