the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
