Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
honey bunches of taint.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
