piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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