You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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