Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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