Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
