girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
