I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize