you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
