No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
