shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
