Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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