singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
