I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
