You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
