Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
