did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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