My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
