I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
im having a threesome with these popsicles
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
