my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
