When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
