God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
