Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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