its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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