I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
