Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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