Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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