I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize