Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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