Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
