if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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