3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
