Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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