I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
