Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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