Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
