I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
