I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
