I hate all girls vehemently.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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