So drunk, too bad you don't want this
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize