in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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