i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
