guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
