You really coming over, don't trick.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I am one with the molecules
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
