Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
