Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
