What did we do last night that was yellow?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize