If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
