awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize