Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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