it's like iHOP with fire
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
