just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize